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Hi Mom, I'll be by Thursday morning to pick you up, Amana's coming over too.

Alls well on land but I'm a little disappointed about the Corvette. Not a single email from friends giving me shit on the email with a condescending sports-car analogy for the 'cougar phenomenon'. Here I went and bought the same type of car that I chastised as 'a toy for self esteem' and none hazed me. My hypocrisy knows no-bounds and in today's world it doesn't seem to matter…apparently my mainstream adjustments are going too well.

Here's my latest rant titled 'The Text of Chickenshit'. But first I thought a mention might be in order to new friends on the 'CC' list, especially to Americans in hopes of reducing offense. Basically my observations of mainstream America is no different than trashing other cultures traveled since starting the broadcast of 'Hi Moms' 8 years ago. Now after 5 months home, in many ways my mind still delves in a state of culture shock and transience, and America in this millennium is still stinking in, sorry SINKING in. So honestly no offence meant, even if I likely wouldn't apologize for said 'observations'.

When I shoved off texting was for teenagers, and I could understand the novelty of this 'retro communication' at the time. It was like telegraphing silently and secretive, a covert communicate that none could overhear, was difficult for a teacher to catch-on and there was no note slipped to another that could end up in the wrong hands. It never occurred to me that it could become a dominant communication for adults. Amanda flew in this last year of travel and she was texting from the boat, so I asked her how many she does per day. '100-150' was her answer. I still thought it a kid's phenomenon but wondered why she didn't talk to her friends about what she was doing in the islands; describe first-hand the beauty, ocean, adventure etc, her phone use was free.

Once home I could see some minor convenience in it, like 'don't forget the milk, eggs, diapers etc', a list someone took the time to write down for you, reminders kept handy as a matter of efficiency and of course the same goes with minor instructions for work, social reminders, directions etc. But it's gone a lot further than that, to displace the intimacy of speaking and in ways has rendered courtesy antiquated. Teenagers text instead of hanging on the phone to have spontaneous or intimate communication. They send minor tit-for-tat to a number of friends throughout the day instead of talking. But there's really is no discernable tone to text, no emotion, and minimalist consideration unless one takes the time to actually compose something. But that would be a real effort, especially when already short of patience to endeavor the old saying "It's nice to hear your voice".

So I pondered why I'm now caught up in this limited, archaic and shallow form of impersonal communication and I realized it has a feel of finality when I hit 'send', like having the last word, like an ego-pander. It also creates opportunity to communicate things with gutless impersonality. For a minute or two after sending, I'm aware the recipient has to think of a response while I go about my business. The irony is that I am waiting for that response, impatiently or at the least subliminally eager, and the communication is in a state of incompletion. If I read my text-log it's a documentary of a silly conversation that could have taken place in a minute, which I realize took place over some days with me spelling out every friggin word with one finger (or if I was really good at it, two thumbs...) My cell has become a middleman, slowing communication with incomplete information simplified for convenience. Basically it's a shitty way to communicate with people, and an archaic creator of dead-space. I have one friend who refuses to even have texting on her phone service, and it took me some months to realize "Your right Kelly".

Now how about while driving? Of which I've been guilty drive-texting (but no more). I'm refusing to text-return anyone, nor read them unless at a complete stop, or in a wide open road, and it had better be 5 words or less. Here's the problem though, I forget receiving them when I get to my destination and senders are lucky to get one back timely, which indecently is part of the endless loop of disrespect I do not intend (hopefully none of us intend). I spoke with several people who have admitted driving-texting into a wreck. I have seen on a daily basis people in rush-hour traffic (am sure everyone's witnessed this) pulling up fast then stop, look into their lap, then not noticing the traffic move, get honked at, then annoyed rabbit-start forward again, over and over with frustration and the constant pulse of adrenalin from flirting with accident. How important could a fucking txt be? I want to text them "WTF! MAKE A CALL!"...lol. I heard on the news a train conductor ran head-on into another and killed dozens of people because he was texting and missed seeing the routing light. Austin has 30% higher accidents than the national average. To my limited comprehension of this new millennium, having just gotten off the boat and all, we've accepted a twisted sense of priority to an archaic form of superficial communication, which creates of all things danger. Or am I missing the point? Oh yea "it's convenient"...as shallowness oftentimes is...

Amanda txt me 'happy father's day' which at the time was fine, it was just teenage stuff. Then she txt's me for money instead of calling me to explain how much she needs, I didn't respond, she never bothered to call. I had a date cancel with a txt, it was explanatory (a run-on sentence..much like this) but she'd failed to allow me to tell her "I understand, it's no problem at all" unless I took the time TO CALL HER. Which I did automatically to give her that courtesy, later though I thought 'how rude and mildly chickenshit...WTF?' I was introduced to a girl and asked her out in person, she said she would love to go sailing. Some days later, but before our date, she sent me one with 'kiss' at the end in response to my 'hugs'. But before we actually went out she txt me saying 'ben I'm not ready for dating yet, I just came out of a very bad marriage' Again WTF? Another girl whom I'd had one date with 'drunk-txt' me, it ended in 'call me if you want I' m going home'. Another time I was flirting with someone whom I know in a bar, then she left without saying a word and 10 minutes later text telling me, not asking, to pick her up, take her home and have sex with her. If she'd just called and asked nicely I might have said "OK"......yea I know, you don't believe me but it's true, no 'might' about it! I didn't text her back because she kinda creeped me out...ALSO TRUE!

As a Last Millenium Man I've decided to text in absolute minimum, for minor instructions; in a loud place etc. I've decided it's archaically ridiculous, poisonous for a relationship, dangerous for driving, and venomous to soulful interaction. Am I overstating? I guess it's perfect for some other things though, like communicating with Cougaras or having an affair, or to spy the logs of someone you suspect of it, or on your kids, or to create unintended disrespectful timeliness and a perfect loop of impersonal chickenshit correspondence.

Text me mom if you want me to pick up a bottle of wine on my way over tomorrow, and don't forget to text your granddaughter and say "Happy Thanksgiving"….lol

Love you, Ben

PS: To friends, if anyone receives a 'Happy Thanksgiving' text howaboutn just call em, and BTW Happy Thanksgiving.